Questions and Answers

AARGH!

2012-01-04T15:03:00.000-08:00

My head is so crowded at the moment that a proper shake would probably do it a world of good. Sanity seems more than one can hope for.

And it is shut...

2011-11-07T21:34:00.000-08:00

In everybody's life you reach a point when you start closing the door to a past, a memory, a bygone era. You call it by different names but the comprehension is the same. Some find it easy, some find it tough and some take a long time to come to terms with even doing it. I am the last kind of person.

Today I closed one such door in my life. I fought it a long time but today when I did close it, I was at peace with myself. It was long overdue and very tough personally to lock it down. But a random reading somewhere explained why letting go sometimes is necessary. I thought over it for a couple of months and it gave me great peace and understanding with myself. I locked the door once again and threw the key away.

Let it remain a memory, as pleasant as it developed itself into . The very memory which caused me to fight its demise.

Memories are good and bad but when you choose to stay with the good is when I guess people say you have come of age. Who knows what that is all about! The only thing I understood was that surprises never cease, you never run out of choices and memories are not a bad thing-not a bad thing at all.

Ramana..

2011-10-11T13:27:00.000-07:00

For a while now, I have been reading about Ramana Maharishi. It often strikes me that there is so little I find about him apart from what I hear about him from people who have been associated with him from time to time in a direct way or perhaps a more indirect way. Even his answers to questions put to him are so simply put it makes you think. Someone asked him once, how do I treat others? He replied "There are no others". One other seeker asked him what he thought of all that is going on in the world. He said "The world is a thought" . Those two answers particularly have had me thinking for quite some time now. If you deliberate over it, you will find that it makes you think in another direction. There was somewhere else that I read, what you think of as the world is nothing but a movie in progress. So then I wonder what are right's and wrong's?If what Ramana says is true, there are no rights and no wrongs. Actually there is little else then. There is so much in our lives that is driven by events, situations, emotions. If all that is an illusion, then really what else is there? What would we be pursuing then? More importantly, would we know what to pursue then ? I think it just makes you wonder, if only a little bit.
If I think about this like any average person would, I would say there should perhaps be more than an element of truth to what he says. These are people who somehow manage to strike an equilibrium in their existence and hear no noise. They have no confusion. They are comfortable with silence and there is only calm inside. The strange part about it is even when you listen to all that they spoke about years before you were born, it still makes an impact on you. It still calms you, if only for that moment. And then you wonder at the potency of it all. Somewhere you want to find out more about it.

I don't know if it is just running all the time makes you think like that or it is really who you are. I don't know what lines these thoughts follow. If it is spiritual, religious, just respite or our true nature. I don't. But I do know that when I even hear all this, when I read, I feel a very strange calm engulf and wrap me. I feel like it asks me to give in. I don't want to run anymore, after things or for things. However I don't want to run away from life either. Does that make me sound fatalistic?Confused? It is Ramana's words that are swirling in my head saying "the world is a thought".

I think, despite what experiences you have with life or with people, with situations, eventually it is just you in the circle. But, now I hear Ramana whispering.... So, Who are you ?

Fear - An eternal question

2011-10-02T00:36:00.000-07:00

Life gives you the ability to dream and to work towards it. I have wondered a lot of times if there is an apocalpytic effect associated with this. Fear is the root of everything extreme. Fear of loss, fear of the unknown , fear of the future, fear of death. But how can you be human and overcome it ?

Fear of loss is something that one has to dodge everyday. Knowingly or unknowingly. I wonder then when we work so hard at gaining something do we lose something in the bargain? It is not an easy distinguishing factor.

I will say today I love my life. But then how fickle minded am I that I cannot even depend on my own statement. Tomorrow I am equally capable of proclaiming in a moment of madness that I hate it all. Or is it the moment of utter sanity?When I find that my own thought process is debatable then how is it that I achieve something and not expect to lose it at all?

What is my concept of success and what part of it will conquer my fears? Will the whimsical nature of the monkey triumph over the ravages of time? How far do we go back?

How do I not get afraid anymore.... Questions and Answers....

...

2011-06-21T21:23:00.000-07:00

The sway of the wind whispers in your ear the memories of the days gone by, the space and the noise around you reminds you of the people passed by. You smile as you remember what was carried and what was left behind, and your heart whispers in a small frail voice...I am still okay, aren't I?

Food

2011-05-08T03:04:00.000-07:00

I am such a big fan of good food, especially good indian food. I love GSB cuisine, but then having grown up in Mumbai, you become global in so many ways :). I don't really stick to one theme when it comes to food , it varies depending on my mood. I absolutely hate pasta, or maybe I have yet to have lovely pasta and I am no big fan of cheese. I think if I have to list my must haves on a happy and sad day it would be as follows:

Daalithoi( Gowd Saraswath for Daal)
Eggs( Multiple dishes and each one of them yummy....the humble egg is always a life saver if you are ravenous and need something good, nutritious and delicious in a jiffy)
Spices( I need my spices to churn out the stereotype as well as anything different)
Thecha(I learnt the magic of this humble, yet explosive item from my colleague who happened to be from Solapur. His mom didn't limit it to hirvya mirchya and thus reinvented it each time. P.S Peanuts add body to this awesome, mindboggling chutney in any form)
Fish......my grandma is from Malpe, we recieved this weakness for rich spicy fish courtesy those roots.
Lemons/lime... you never know where you will need it
Tomatoes, Onions....always a great base for anything and everything
Hing (aah only Saraswats will understand why this is so important to us)
Karela, eggplant in any form, Suran, kooka(don't know what it is called in any other language) all the roots ..goodness how I love carbs..
Making sweets. I am one of those people who loves both extremes in food..lots of spice and never enough of sweets.. Baking a cake, making mysore pak, making gulab jamuns, jalebis....yummmmm...
Last but not least Fruit Salads with Custard, flan, caramel pudding call it whatever but that is one quick dessert which always leaves me wanting for more...

I am not sure what I am missing, but I just realized I got hungry all of a sudden :P (oh ppl never forget the salt ;))

God....

2011-04-24T06:34:00.000-07:00

Who is God anyway? Why do we associate such energy with things that favor us? Why do we lean towards God to save us, why do we need God...

Life is full of questions...Death is an eternal question... We spend so much of our life condemning others and more of it condemning ourselves that the simplicity of it all escapes us everytime...escapes me, escapes you, escapes everyone....

God cannot be anything but the goodness in us, not the sarcastic part, not the learned part, not the thinking part, not the sensible practical part, not the bitter part. Just the soul who would forget all of the above and just reach out to anyone who needed them. That goodness that has a little kindness for everyone, that little compassion for everyone.

This whole assumption of education, intelligence, and argument is such a farce. It is such a facade.

There is only one truth that exists, and that is that everyone in life needs kindness and love. Everyone understands the language of compassion. It requires no degree of education and no assumption of wisdom. It is the language of humanity...

If we can breathe, eat, sleep and experience all the other emotions that exist, then we can spare a little kindness for everyone....

That is God, that is prayer....it is this humanity...that is the beginning, it will be the end...

Sigh!

2011-04-03T05:45:00.000-07:00

The problem with the world we live in is there is just too much anger...too much of it. But the biggest problem is when we recognize it in ourselves and know that it is just weeding you out. Poison, as they say kills...God bless us all!

Lahanpan Dega Deva

2011-01-16T21:02:00.000-08:00

lahan pan dega deva
mungi skahrecha rawa

airawat ratan thor
tyasi ankushcha mar
jaya angi mothepan
taya yatana kathin

tuka mahne barve jan
whave lahahuni lahan

mahapure zade jati
tehte lavhael wachati
-Sant Tukaram

Penny 1

2010-05-30T08:40:00.001-07:00

People who see only what they want to see are very short sighted....

Harmony

2010-04-14T11:29:00.000-07:00

Happiness is a very strong emotion, and an extremely positive energy. We need positivity ,don't we, amidst the suffocating cynicism that we live in. Everyone should be happy and peaceful always. Everyone should find a path that fulfills them and stay peaceful. It is only when you are peaceful that you can have peace around you. It is only when you are relaxed that you have those around you relaxed. Especially those whom you love.

It becomes very difficult to differentiate between what you have and what you want, especially when anything you seem to grasp at slips through your fingers. It doesn't even seem to matter then what you have, but it is very important to remember the threads connected to you . It is important that you realise that thinking about yourself all the time is very selfish, you have to think about everyone connected to you. Nothing is ever enough in the world we live in, so the turmoil is understandable. But I remember what my grandfather once told me- he said doesn't matter how fast you run, and how far, at a point you wonder what was it you were running for....

Stay happy, stay peaceful, love life and love yourself...

Harmony is the music of life..

Truth

2010-04-06T22:16:00.000-07:00

It is sometimes impossible to understand a lot of things that happen sometimes. It is even more impossible to believe the insanity around you. Then you see the few things that are sane, and that matter much more than the flow of life. The constant that follows you in your sojourn. That is the time when you tell yourself, there is something that is much bigger than your existence. And it will matter to you for the rest of your lifetime.
Perhaps that is what they call strength.

A moment in time..

2010-03-09T11:58:00.000-08:00

In the hustle bustle of isolation, it strikes you that success is always a private emotion and failure has the world as your audience...

Release

2010-02-26T11:59:00.000-08:00

What kind of release do we all look forward to? Is it creative, intellectual or just figurative? I wonder...I simply wonder...

The existing potential or the created one? Do we know ourselves at all? When do we stop running in the rat race and mark a different track...

Ambition is such an ambiguous word, and regret such a common man. Does it really describe the fire inside you? The fire that keeps you awake every night, your head a furious activity of plans and backup plans. The fire that makes you want to conquer, not the world but the track you marked. That track that will always stay right in front of your eyes, and you will always want to follow it. Thought. Thought now is a different ball game. One would say a "one track" mind is bound. What about wings? What about fuel?

Regret shouldn't exist, not when the fire is so big. I want and so it shall happen. I want and I will make it happen. That is the core of existence. Not breathing, eating, sleeping, waking up. The mundane actions that prelude it.The flames should lap it up...the haze should lift.

What is it that they say...I want to fly...with or without wings...I want to fly ....and so I will.

Idiosyncrasies...

2010-02-19T00:35:00.000-08:00

Bored....I believe*yawn*...Utterly bored..*yawwwwn*

....

2009-11-15T16:34:00.001-08:00

aadhi haatale chatke, mag milte bhakar...:)

Thoughts... one among many

2009-11-01T17:24:00.000-08:00

How is it that the way we are is a right way to be? That is really subective to your line of thinking isn't it. Actions are always as good or bad as we perceive them to be and we can safely say that we are not always a good judge of it.

I remember hearing this dialogue once about sanity and insanity. It made an impression . The line of argument was how do you make that line of discrimination between being sane and insane? You could call someone insane because he/she lives in a realm of unreality. But that is your and your perception alone. You could call something real like the shoe on your foot, but what if everyone else calls it a snake? Would you believe their reality or would you go with yours? Their reality could be as real to them as your reality to you. Then who is insane and who is sane? Do you think then that you are prefectly sane, or is it just your own perception that keeps you wanting to believe you are?

Pennies

2009-10-20T20:20:00.000-07:00

How much does insignificance hurt someone? Everything you work for, is it to defy that objective?

Can you live with knowing nothing about you matters?...

How much of a shattered dream can you work on, how much of it can you rebuild?

Can you live with a broken part of yourself? Can you accept yourself after knowing how much of yourself you lose in disappointment?

Vision..

2009-10-18T17:29:00.000-07:00

Vision will always divide the mere from the extraordinary. Vision , a prelude to wisdom and patience. And faith.

Live and Learn...

2009-10-16T19:29:00.000-07:00

Thought process is a very complicated thing. Is there any way to predict how any one person can interpret one thing? For a long time I believed in rights and wrongs. I also believed in black and white. But then who is the judge of it again? Different mindsets, different perceptions. How can what I believe is right be right for you? or rather How can what I think is wrong be right for you? How can you not see it is wrong(like I do)?

What does it mean to open your mind and dwell on the possibility that yes, each of us is different from each other. Doesn't mean it is a degree of how one is better or worse. Simply that all of us have a way of looking at things and 99 out 100 times we might not look at anything the same way.

How much understanding does that take? A pinch. Are we ready to spare that much?

Impatience gets the better of all of us. What use is this temper? Who is it going to help? You or the person who can't see it the way you see it? Loss, that is all it leads to.Yourself, respect for yourself. Always more than the control you seem to lose.

But then who is a saint? Maybe losing it at the right time. There is a time and a place to unleash it.

Otherwise all you are doing is wasting yourself over nothing. How big a fool does that make you?

Does it mark your education or your ignorance?

Questions and answers....

Early morning, that rises tomorrow..fly,little fledgling,fly..

2009-10-13T13:02:00.000-07:00

Networking sites have suddenly brought one in close quarters with people you know(or don't know) whether you like it or not. I am not sure if it is an entirely good thing, but I wouldn't call it bad either. It is an individual perspective. One way or the other they are a huge hit with teens, "young" adults and adults alike. You receive daily..even hourly updates sometimes. One wonders if this is indeed a far better way of knowing people or is that chance meeting after years and catching up over tea much better? No, I am not saying I am against it, how can I when I am on the same page. But how much of a good thing is good ?

Do you really need to be in touch with people all the time? Do you really need to know whats going on in everyone's lives? How much of yourself do you put out there? How has it changed you? Do you find yourself profile hopping? Do you enjoy the exercise? Essentially can you live without it?

Has networking and increasing social contacts improved your life, has it led to better communication ? Can you honestly say you know the other person better? Or that you have a better equation with him/her? Are you in a better place today from where you were before these sites took over?Do we need to think carefully over these...

One thing that is an unfortunate development is when sometimes(most?) technology takes over so much of your life that you forget to close your laptop, look around and breathe in life. It has become so easy to not notice the life flowing around you in so many ways because you are too involved in everything else in another world, which with due respect is still virtual..At some point, people do want to stop and do that..despite what you might think today, be assured that one day you will want to stop and do just that..live.

What does it take to keep 5 minutes aside everyday, sit in silence and enjoy being with yourself for a while? We desperately need to be in touch with ourselves, getting in touch with others can follow. Have you ever given a thought to how easily you can always resume from where you leave but the question is do you realize what you leave behind...what part of yourself you leave behind and for whom...

Is it not worth it to know yourself better and know what you are asking of yourself too. I have never really understood the great panic we throw ourselves into. The world is not running away from you, but are you running away from yourself? Slow down...take a deep breath and slow down...take it easy..

The one good thing that network updates have been relaying is that people back home, in Maharashtra, are sounding upbeat about voting, the adults are putting up messages like "go and vote" and the "young" adults put up pictures of the famous black dye on their fingers. It's a good turn I say, when responsibility feels light and good on your shoulder and you are willing to take that step. I give it a big thumbs up. India doesn't deserve the cynicism she gets . Lets just hope this is a good turn and not some illusion that people have taken a fancy for after viewing one of Rakeysh Mehra's "Live today and now" movies..well on second thought's if it is indeed a fancy, let it be nurtured and let it grow. That was the intent of the movie, that is why we need good story-tellers..

To live in hope...to nurture a dream....

Quest..

2009-10-12T03:44:00.000-07:00

There are these singular opulent moments you have which tell you, all the paraphernalia that you think you need to be surrounded with is conventional bulls***. Why? Simple, because you realize everything is an illusion. Everything that surrounds you. What seems so fundamental and primary in the moment gets lost in a hazy blur some point down the line. Does the realization exist?

You move from point to point to find stability, does being stationary help? You ask yourself so many questions, essentially what you are seeking. But the real question is are you sitting down with yourself and indeed asking yourself that question.

I don't need an opinion, and I stand by it. I don't need an opinion, I reiterate. Why? Because starved souls give away opinions. Reflected emptiness. But who cares. That is the irony of the real world. Nobody cares. Nobody does at all. But ask them for an opinion and out spills pearls of wisdom. And who are they spilling the pearls for?

One man's agony is another man's soap opera. He writes the script because he enjoys very much the feeling of being another's saviour.

But is he one? or is he a pariah? an outcaste? Cast so by himself in a black hole of igominy and lack of self realization...

Are we all sitting on the fence...or are we waiting to jump...that is the real question isn't it? That is the real question.

Musings...

2009-08-30T16:04:00.000-07:00

One thought. Or Several. Once in a while a comment here and there and you realize there is so much more you have to know and understand. So much you can't see. Is it really one layer over another? Do you even know someone as you think you know them? Do you ever know anyone in one lifetime at all? Is it wise to believe in comfort zones?
It is all really convoluted poetry. It is beyond thought and you dwell on your own whimsical nature which gives so easily and yet refuses to. You wonder what part of yourself you have left open now.
How vulnerable are you now? Or are you ? Can you define hurt or is it just a word? Are you full of yourself to imagine it every once in a while or is it just 'creative' sensitivity?
Sensitivity. Is it a free form of art or just a nail to hang your coat on.....
Are you living or are you ready to?

Time-Warp...

2009-07-23T21:45:00.000-07:00

It is strange when at a point of time you forget everything and that point of time stretches to a point you can't see or feel-you are just so numb to real feelings and emotions or the ability to think, you are wrapped up in a strange time-capsule so that you lose sense of everything. Everything seems so unreal and so untouchable. A bubble which keeps growing waiting to burst...

You want to snap out of it but the lethargy is beatific. Living can be scary in different ways...

Malgudi Days

2009-06-03T18:15:00.000-07:00

The Malgudi Days series was one of my favourites and to catch it on youtube had me going back to the days when I would wait for it to be showcased every week, somewhere primetime, dinner time and anticipating the story that week. I even had the book. Needless to say "Chaaami" was my favorite character. Lot of Malgudi , the characters in it, the mindset enconsed- a tribute to the people in family from 40 years backand one way or the other it transported you to a time where you started thinking oh ...this is how my grandfather lived, this is how my mom's grandmother lived as a widow.

Fun catching up with Malgudi...Now let me look for Surabhi and Tenali Rama...

Whew...!

2009-06-02T15:17:00.000-07:00

In my association with different people I have come across one who goes one step further. The term "spitting venom" is a literal for her and she has a tongue which will rival none. A shrew in the truest sense of the term, and absolutely impossible to deal with , it actually amazes me she has a partner, who puts up with her cantankerous behaviour, which tries anybody's patience to the very limit. Rude and uncouth, hysterical and foul tempered, unruly and tempestuous, she uses language which you would challenge any woman to use. You are literally left speechless at her choice of language, the shrill tone which is a permanent and the rough behavior which is unbecoming of any man, leave alone a woman. Her belief that the world revolves around her working alone doesn't help as she just adds it as an overtone to her already boorish overcoat. Another thing which was a clear lesson form her was early successes can make you a better person or a complete toad.Perhaps it will be her tongue itself that will be her undoing one day, and will create circumstances which she won't be able to prevent, won't be able to take back what her tongue lashed and her whim gave in to. A day when she realizes how much one unruly tongue can ruin . Perhaps that will be her lesson for life, a lesson which will come in perhaps early or maybe more late...
Till then...anyone wants to tame a wild boar....???

And I wish I was....

2009-06-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

It is funny how each person wants to be in someone else's shoes. You ask this one, he'll think that one is luckier and if you ask that one he'll think this one is luckier. You ask an academic, he might tell you he wasn't cut out for it but perhaps it is easier for the 9-5's and the average 9-5 will tell you the academic is just a lucky sod who gets paid to sit around inconclusively without worrying how to beckon industry or slog his famous rear there. You ask the family guy and he'll tell you he just wishes he'd taken some time off like his easy-going charming bachelor friend there, and the easy-going fellow will tell you he wished he had settled down some years back and enjoyed family life now like his lucky friend-father-of-three there.So end conclusion everyone wants to be like someone else, everyone thinks the other person is luckier....and that is a tradition that will go on till the end of this world.....terrible but true...each one will be a victim sometime, each one will fall to it...

And in Thee I rest !

2009-05-23T00:11:00.000-07:00

"Would you want to?" Was I being too selfish when I thought over it and decided, NO...maybe not yet. Freedom is a very precious thing. Once you taste freedom, you cannot imagine being imprisoned in any sense. Freedom of thought, freedom of self, freedom to live. Life is beautiful , or so I have been told, but it is when you live without boundaries that you truly free yourself.

I was talking to someone and she went on and on about how God would emancipate her from everything. I would go on giving her solutions to her problems but she would negate everything and creep back into her hole of negativity. After a while I realized the conversation was hopeless, around the same time that I realized that no one can help mould your thought process but yourself. Our imagination that we can help others help themselves by veering thier thoughts in a different direction is so limited that it is laughable. Nobody can help you think or see but yourself. I just discovered people don't really listen most of the time that you are talking unless they want to(they can gabble away for hours together about their misformed life though!), they don't want your opinion unless they specifically ask for it, and even when they do 9 out of 10 times , they pretty much don't really follow your word for it!

When the conversation then veered to spirituality I thought to myself, do people always have so much feeling of low self worth that they always turn to spirituality, and always always conjecture that they are more spiritually enhanced than the rest of the world...and that the world could give up on them but God wouldn't. And why was spirituality such a hot topic! All this time I thought this is something that should be intensely personal but the way people love to go on and on and on and discuss, then argue, then argue some more about it....it is like some kind of postmarked wisdom, a true indication of their education and understanding of the written word, this world and beyond....Bah!

God-ambivalent description of who you are. Spirituality-Respite .

I wonder, simply wonder, when will these stop being best-sellers to the morbidity that never cease to exist!

My Happy Ending ...

2009-05-02T19:36:00.000-07:00

Happy endings don't necessarily revolve around having someone accompany you and understand you in the journey of life. It could just be yourself and the way you choose to live beyond. To be true in what you give people involved in your life and not caring what they made of it. Happy "endings" are about you and how you see things finally. The rest, as they say, fades with the sunset....

Man....why didn't someone tell me that before !:P

2009-04-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to
fly south for the winter. However, soon after the weather turned cold,
the sparrow changed his mind and reluctantly started to fly south.
After a short time, ice began to form his on his wings and he fell to
earth in a barnyard almost frozen. A cow passed by and crapped on this
little bird and the sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure
warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy the little sparrow
began to sing. Just then, a large Tom cat came by and hearing the
chirping investigated the sounds. As Old Tom cleared away the manure,
he found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.
There are three morals to this story:
1) Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2) Everyone who gets you out of shit is not necessarily your
friend.
3) If you are warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth
shut.
----quot' Chris Schenk's Website...

Chapter 1 : You, Yourself and the World...

2009-03-18T08:47:00.000-07:00

It seems safer and more sensible to live with the gloves on but more exciting to live with the gloves off. Infact it is fun sometimes to push your regular restraint to a corner and make decisions that you would have never thought of making before. If you are the kind who calculates every thought before your action then this will probably liberate you. And it should. Imagine having a million concerns about everything and then imagine not tihnknig about it.

Imagine not being your regular self. Imagine living like that for quite some time.

Climbing the Everest would seem easier than breaking habits of a lifetime. A lifetime of being yourself, which is not such a bad idea at all. But then what about every other factor that is included along with being yourself. Oh darn, say just the scores of people who are just crowding the periphery, and the other few who make/influence your everyday decisions. Oh yeah, then the other few who you have a soft spot for and there the decision is made...those people for whom you would put an arm and leg out and never think about even giving the idea a thought, leave alone a second thought.

And then one fine day you discover, you inspires thoughts, first, second and third...or if it can go on...

But then why would you inspire loyalty . It is a virtue after all. So this is where you learn to say "Oh well chuck it anyway"....and then take a deep breath and breathe in life....the one you wanted...

It has a lot of space for respect that way. For yourself and the world.